At the Nonpareil Network, we firmly believe that women should support each other, cheer each other on and celebrate each other’s success.

When Helen and I worked together in the corporate world, we very quickly developed a strong and positive working relationship. We knew that if we collaborated, supported each other and were honest and direct with each other, we’d be far more successful than if we were in competition with each other. 

But we soon realised that other people found it surprising that we had this type of relationship. 

People expected us to be in competition with each other, as two women in senior roles who worked closely together and would potentially have been in line for the same role as a promotion in the future. Even our boss expressed surprise that we were not vying for position! At times, we noticed people trying to pit us against each other or fishing for us to make negative comments about each other - which, of course, wasn’t going to happen. 

There’s perhaps nothing wrong with a bit of healthy competition in the workplace. It keeps everyone on their toes and makes sure that people deliver their best work. But there’s such a fine line between healthy competition and the sort of competition that can become toxic and negative. 

And sadly, this seems to be worse where women are concerned. There are so many areas of life where women get judged more than their male counterparts: their appearance, the way they dress, their age, their parenting choices (or choice not to be a parent), their sexual history, their choice to pursue a career or not… So perhaps it’s unsurprising that we can subconsciously go into competition mode when we come across other women in similar positions to ours. 

We’ve probably all been to events where the initial “tell us a little bit about yourself” introduction can easily turn into a competitive sport: people doing their best to demonstrate that they’re the most senior person in the room, the most experienced, the busiest, the one spinning the most plates in their work and personal lives… And most of us will have experienced working with a colleague whose sole purpose in life seems to be to make it clear to everyone that they are far busier than anyone else in the organisation. 

Likewise, on starting a new role and meeting close female colleagues, it’s been all too common for an introductory chat to turn into a run down of the other person’s experience and credentials - rather than a genuine opportunity to get to know each other as potential allies and team mates with an opportunity to work together and support each other to achieve our best results. 

And in the worst case scenario, we discover that other senior women in an organisation, rather than being the allies they should be, are anything but - actually trying to sabotage our success or block us from making progress.

This is something we are determined to change at the Nonpareil Network. Women run into so many challenges from their male colleagues that the last thing we need is to experience the same from our female counterparts. Instead, we should be standing together and supporting each other in the face of these challenges. 

We also shouldn’t be looking to create a hierarchy amongst working women based upon their life choices outside of work. As a childfree woman, I’ve occasionally felt that I’ve been looked down upon as somehow lesser than women who have a family - because I’ve got fewer things to juggle, so therefore my professional success doesn’t mean as much. Conversely, Helen has felt that people may not take her as seriously as a career-focused woman, because she has a family. 

At the Nonpareil Network, we firmly believe that everyone has their own different version of success, and we want to help women achieve and celebrate theirs, whatever it may be. We are all working towards different things that mean success and happiness for us - so there should be no competition, as we are all working towards different end goals. 

Our events and groups will be a level playing field where women come together, regardless of their circumstances, to support and encourage each other. And we want to spread the word and demonstrate the power of women coming together as allies, not competitors. 

Our next event is scheduled for 14th January and we would love it for you to join us. You can find out more about the event and sign-up for it HERE. 

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Written by Hannah Poulton

Co-founder of Nonpareil Network.

Hannah is a portfolio Marketing Director. She is also a Non Executive Director for the Welsh Cycling Union and a Lay Member for the British Chiropractic Council. She also volunteers as a Magistrate and is a Lay Member for NHS Blood and Transplant.